Each paragraph
Feels like another brick hitting the pit of my stomach.
My writing journey is taking its toll. I’m halfway through the second draft of my memoir. Each line a reminder of the pain and shame I went through.
It would help if I knew I was on the right track. It would be a great support to know what an editor or publisher might expect from me at this stage.
And yet I dare not reach out yet. I want my vulnerable story to take clearer shape first, making sure that the painful lessons I learnt will scream loudly at the reader without ambiguity, so that a helping hand can reach out and mean the difference between life and death.
Recharge, reboot, recover
Last night was filled with loud music, vivacious dance and meeting new people.
The night stretched long and morning came too soon.
So today I’m staying in, working from home as in opposed to working from one of my fav cafés. Sometimes you cannot even handle the thought of socializing with the waiters at a place when you’ve just had too much in your bucket.
It’s rainy weather which perfectly matches the way I feel right now. That’s a comfort that makes this day feel like a blessing. Yesterday wasn’t a bad experience. Recouping isn’t punishment. Just a necessity to restore me to balance.
- HSP insights for the day
Finding flow
Rock climbing is the closest thing to experiencing the state of “flow” in my life at the moment. I’ve had it with mountain biking before. But supposedly it’s also possible through meditation… I’d love to experience that one day.
I don’t know what I’m doing
But I’m okay with that.
I don’t need to pretend otherwise
I’m not an expert at life
None of us have life figured out
And if we think we have
Then we’re missing the point altogether
We all float on, anyway
Sometimes I wonder
If anyone reads these pages…
My private thoughts laid bare for all to read.
When I write I try to imagine that no one reads the HSP diary, because otherwise I will censor myself too much. Still, I don’t write as openly as I do in my private journal. Some things are best kept to yourself. And also, sometimes I need to put things down in writing so the clutter can clear and I can gain perspective. This means that some of the things I write down in my private journal are not always my truth. Just momentary sentiments. If someone would read that they might get the wrong impression about the inner workings of my mind.
So I’m more reserved here, because I don’t want to give the wrong impression. I’ve been misinterpreted enough in life.
Leave me a comment if you’re reading this. I’d like to know…
It’s live!
Well I’ve launched my hsp e-course at last! (After some initial hick-ups.)
I’ve been working on it for quite some time. Initially wanted to launch in January…
It doesn’t feel very celebratory yet. I guess I’m waiting to see if it is actually received well before getting any kind of feeling about it. But it is one less weight on my shoulders. There is no shortage of projects lined up for me to throw myself into. This clears the path for the next one. What will it be? Draft to of my memoir “Sober, barely sane”?
I also want to make my next YouTube video. I’ve been waiting for my sparkle to return. Didn’t wanna do another downer video, they were bringing me even more down. So a hiatus was better for my inner sanity.
Let’s see now!
Seriously though…
How many times can your heart break for the same person over and over?! I need air…