Thoughts running wild through my mind. I’m nearing the end of my promise to make daily journal entries. I’ve shown up to my personal journal almost daily, but the extra step of signing in to my website dashboard to write something here seems too much of a roadblock for me to remain consistent. I’m not one to break promises, but I just couldn’t keep it up. I’m learning to embrace my imperfections and accepting that I too can let others and myself down. It’s ok.

I don’t share much about my financial struggles. People seem to find it easy to share about there financial successes, but you don’t hear that much about when things are not so affluent. While I’m not swimming in abundance (yet) I do want to note that I’m always amazed at the more subtle ways in which the universe gives me gifts of generosity. Like when I run into family at a cafe and they offer to treat me a meal instead me being limited to my decaf beverage. I’m surrounded. by generous people who make my “struggling artist” lifestyle a little more bearable. And trading services for goods also goes a long way. So might not be able to afford the fee of the fundraising rock concert, but I can offer my photo services in lieu for entrance.

I get around, but I’d be lying if I said I’m not dreaming of the day when money flows to me in abundance. I’d love to taste the kind of freedom where I can travel at my leisure or simply treat someone else to a meal instead of the other way around.

It seems like an eternal battle between sacrificing money for creative freedom, and selling your time and soul just to make money. Sometimes I wish I had done things differently earlier on in life. But then again, was drowning in alcohol until I turned 25. When I sobered up, just being sober was the accomplishment of my life. All my efforts went towards just surviving.

It’s a different kind of life. But I feel like I’m ready to start thriving instead of just surviving. But how?